Let me dispense quickly with the news from the realm of Presidential politics. Tonight, we are MUCH closer to an Obama Presidency than we were a week ago. Credit that to a combination of the following factors:
(a) the Superdelegates have obviously told Hillary that they would desert her en masse if she continued to go negative against Barack,
(c) some moronic Presidential speechwriter forgot one of the fundamental principles of life: thou shalt not encourage a gentile President to go before the Knesset and invoke the Holocaust in order to play partisan politics, and
(d) the candidate formerly known as “
OK. So Barack will be our next President. And
All of my loyal readers are surely familiar with my old friend from law school, Steve Novick. If you’re new here, let me simply say that whoever you are, assuming you’re an adult, I can almost certainly tell you how to stack up against Novick in many ways.
- You’re wealthier than he is (he’s got squadoosh for assets and never really had much)
- You’re taller, too (he’s 4’ 9”)
- You’ve got more arms than he does (I’m guessing one more)
- You’re a whole lot less informed about public policy than he is (he’s always been a policy junky)
- You’re a whole lot dumber than he is (he started at the University of Oregon at 14, where he majored in math, and matriculated at Harvard Law School four years later; at 21, when most Harvard students were finishing up college, he was graduating from the Law School with honors)
- You’re more politically conservative than he is (yeah, he’s not going to campaign as a “moderate” any time soon, though the dude does break rank with me in his support of capital punishment)
- You’re less outspoken than he is (in truth, he’s said a few stupid things, such as when he used the word “traitress” for Hillary and “hypocrite” for Bono; in fairness to him, that was before he started running for Senate … but still …)
- You don’t have as many beers that were created in your honor (“Left Hook Lager” was created for Novick’s campaign; the name is based on his prosthetic left hand)
- You’re not nearly as funny as he is (just check out his commercials if you don’t believe me).
- And even though you’re taller and less “disabled” than Novick, you’re a hell of a lot less comfortable than he is in his own skin.
Exactly how comfortable is Novick in his own skin? The word from
My personal favorite is: “Did anyone else here read the whole wikipedia article? This guy f***ing went to college in his teens because his
Yeah, those lines are classic. But Novick isn’t just an object of humor; he can create it too. Some of his lines from the time he practiced law at the Department of
My personal favorite Novickism, though, had nothing to do with his experiences at DO
We are the Hall!
Hoyas, Hoosiers, they’re all losers,
We are the Hall!
Seton, Seton, can’t be beaten,
We are the Hall!
Truth be told, as you might have expected, “the Pirates” lost to the
Here’s hopin’ that Novick, the tiny man with the massive helping of brains, heart and courage, will slay two Goliaths -- the first next Tuesday, and the second on the first Tuesday of November.
(P.S. – Don’t expect me to be able to publish your comments while I’m gone. Sorry about that.)