A CITY RE-AWAKENS
Talk about your love-hate relationship. My city is a place to which Americans flock, especially during their high school years. They eat up our monuments, museums, and especially that one regal mansion known only by the color of its paint. Then again, every four years, my city is also subjected to public ridicule. It becomes associated with gutless politicians, mindless bureaucrats, and soulless lobbyists. In fact, it’s one of the truest paradoxes in American politics that if you’re a prospective statesman who wants to live in
By all the usual measures, this being an election year, Washingtonians should be suitably indignant of the treatment we’re getting by politicians. But this year, we don’t care. You see, this Company Town has suddenly forgotten that we’re supposed to be all politics, all the time. We’ve turned our attention to a different sphere of existence, one that in the last couple of decades has been even more depressing.
Let me give you a hint: they used to say that
And then there’s the Capitals. They’re the real champs of this city of losers – precisely because they’ve NEVER won a championship. In recent years, the Caps have taken to teasing the locals by having a great regular season, and then losing in the first round of the playoffs. It is just the latest, and not necessarily most creative, way that the franchise has found to break the hearts of its fans. Personally, my favorite was the so-called “Easter Epic” of 1987, when the Capitals hosted a game 7 against the Islanders on a Saturday evening, but the game didn’t end until well into Easter morning when, finally, the fates decided that the Capitals and their fans can do what the franchise – and the city – does best: lose. Everyone knew it was coming. They just didn’t expect it to take a record FOUR overtimes.
But that was then, this is now.
With all due respect to Mel Brooks, Springtime for Hitler and
Open up your newspaper – assuming you still know what a newspaper is – and you’ll see that atop the National League East standings are the Washington Nationals. That’s right, the team we were finally given a few years ago after all those decades in the wilderness (and on I-95), only to watch them lose over and over again, has started this season with a 14-6 record. The Nationals, armed with one of the best pitching staffs in baseball, are tied for the best record in the National League.
As for football,
Even more than baseball and football, though, the sport that truly has this city abuzz is hockey. The Capitals just played a seven game series in which no game was decided by more than one goal. Believe it or not, that has never happened before. But what is truly unbelievable is that the Capitals actually won. Let me repeat that – the Capitals won. They were the team that was outshot, and yet they came out on top when it comes to goals. It’s precisely the opposite of the way things are supposed to work when that franchise takes the ice. But like I said, something is different this year in
Do I attribute this change of fortune to divine intervention? I thought about that possibility, but in the end I had to reject it. If the Wizards were no longer awful, I might actually suspect conscious tampering from the heavens, but they’re still rancid. Truly, some things never change. Anyway, I have decided to attribute all the good fortunes of the Caps, Nationals and Redskins to natural forces. Still, whatever the cause, nobody here can doubt the effects. Somehow,
Watch out Willard. We Washingtonians have the Big Mo on our side. You mess with our pay, and we’ll do to your chances what the Caps just did to your Bruins.
Well, I’m assuming he’s a Bruins fan. Surely, he must be friends with the team’s owner.